How can I change my personality to be like a leader?
A question asked via Quora.com; thought you might find it of interest?
Following on from Karin Wills very informative comments (copied below), I believe you can’t just wake up one morning and change your personality. Indeed, I wouldn’t even try.
Who you are is unique with your own qualities, abilities and traits. It is my opinion that those people who pretend to be something they are not can be spotted a mile away, as they don’t come across as being comfortable in their own skin. They try to do what they think is right, from a third person perspective, not what they feel is right. A good leader naturally plays by his or her own set of rules, playing to their strengths. They understand that ‘it is not what you do when people are watching, but what you do when they are not’; a consistent approach to what you do is paramount to managing your sanity. Trying to present a different personality to the outside world is stressful, ineffective and simply hard work.
So, from the standpoint of being yourself, I would suggest that you look to focus on your strengths and minimise your weaknesses by working with someone you trust. My recommendation would be to seek a mentor either within the organisation where you work or someone who knows your abilities. It is important that he or she understands what makes you tick and is comfortable enough to challenge your thinking. Good quality constructive feedback, a thirst to learn about leadership (there is plenty of reading material, videos on TED etc. and white papers out there) and a desire to change your behaviour will give you a firm base to grow.
When I started my career back in 1987 I had a mentor who supported me for three years challenging me at every turn. It was hard work. Half of the time I wasn’t sure what he was getting at, but the learning experience was what has developed me in to what I am today. In many instances it wasn’t about the answer, but about the journey.
Good luck…and enjoy.
*All comments are based on my personal experiences and given freely. That said, you need to make your own choices. I can’t and won’t accept liability for you employing any recommendations. Business is all about risk. It’s your choice.
Nigel stone has, over the last fifteen years, started, led, consulted and nurtured both UK and European businesses to achieve quite outstanding results.
Karin Wills Comments below:
Karin Wills, Extensive Leadership Coaching. I lead. I provoke thought.
You can’t change your personality. You can change your behaviour.
- Make decisions that are good for others as well as for you
- Develop emotional awareness/intelligence
- Know your core values and stay true to those values
- Collaborate more
- Be genuinely curious about other people
- Understand what you can do and when to defer to others expertise
- Adopt a mindset of continuous learning. Never stop this.
A link to the Quora question is below: